Conquering Fear

I realized this whole trip is truly about overcoming fears I’ve conjured up in my head.

I went bungee jumping. Me. The girl who is afraid of heights. On the drive over before the jump I thought, “Why am I doing this to myself?” but I was also incredibly excited for the jump. I was told when I was little I was fearless, I would jump off furniture onto pillows on the ground. I used to love the TV show Rocket Power and wanted to be able to do every extreme sport they showed.

Little did I know my subconscious self was doing just that. When I was still young I learned how to rollerblade, which made it easy to ice skate, and I would skate circles around my parents and lap them 2, 3, and 4 times. In college I learned how to long board and despite a couple wipe outs on the way to exams I got back up on the board. My first boyfriend taught me how to slackline, which I still love to this day. The balance I developed slacklining helped me when I learned how to surf. I also had the privilege at my college to wakeboard a few times, and I wish I could do it at home because it is so fun. I have also snowboarded in high school and want to do that again soon.

Those dreams that you have when you’re a child do stick with you. Without knowing I’ve sort of become that badass extreme sports chick the childhood me wanted to be. I am by no means a professional in any of these, but at least I stepped up and tried them.

I was feeling pretty good up on that bridge up until I stepped up to the ledge. We were being recorded and the guy roping us in gave us all these angles to wave and then before we jump tells us to say something to our friends and family “Last words.” All I could get out was a weird groan and half smile. My brain truly shut down. When he counted down to jump, all I was thinking is “You have to dive. You have to dive, or it’ll whip you around and hurt your neck.” Sure enough, I grew a pair, and dove headfirst 40 meters toward the water.

My body instinctively froze halfway down and I barely had use of my hands for a second. But the feeling of the wind and only open sky around me was incredible. On the second bounce I had to pull a cord to release my feet so I was right-side-up again. And at that point I was still swinging, it all felt so good. The adrenaline makes you feel like you are on drugs. I was the last to jump and after I was unclipped and back at the top, the guides asked if anyone wanted to go again. Honestly if I hadn’t just jumped 1 minute before I would have gone again. It is definitely addicting like they say.

I’m in Bali now and planning on some surfing and lots of sightseeing for my last few days. Not really ready to go home yet but I’m really happy I came.

(Pin me)

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